Rhonda and Jared Ortiz co-hosted this online event with Jack and Melissa Mulder.
In today’s society, there is very little instruction about how to navigate the world of love and romance. For this reason, we decided to bring back our series, “Courtship, Marriage, and Sex.”
This year, the two-week seminar took place on Zoom. Jared and Rhonda Ortiz led the first seminar on courtship. Jack and Melissa Mulder led the second seminar on marriage and sex. We interviewed both couples:
What is the current dating culture like at Hope College?
Ortizes: At Hope, there is a gender imbalance where women significantly outnumber men. Also, there are many factors working against a healthy dating culture: lack of wholesome examples, delayed maturity, exposure to pornography, fear of failure and of commitment, rising passivity among men, and so on. Young people have never been taught how to think about romance, how to navigate their emotions and sexual desires, or how to find and win the right one.
Mulders: Even ignoring the situation with the pandemic, to a large extent dating seems almost nonexistent. The idea that someone would get together with one person he or she was romantically interested in, rather than a group of friends, seems difficult to imagine for a lot of people.
Why is it important to talk about courting/marriage?
Ortizes: Short of following Jesus, choosing a husband or wife is the most important decision you're ever going to make, and courtship helps you make it. Also, so many students have not witnessed solid, faithful marriages. Showing that you can make a good choice and still love (and like!) each other for 20 years is extremely important.
Mulders: Courtship sounds a bit antiquated, but it holds principles that can teach young people how to find someone and be with them in such a way that they establish a strong foundation for a lasting marriage.
If you could leave students with one piece of relationship advice, what would it be?
Ortizes: Don't sit on the couch! That is the most practical one for maintaining a chaste courtship and discerning the character of the other person. But more than this, young people should speak honestly about important things. They should get on the same page early about proper boundaries, what they want from the relationship (discerning marriage), and what they think about the most important things (God, children, parents, etc.).
Mulders: Communicate openly with your significant other. Don't assume that they magically understand your expectations or share your values. If you're able to establish a solid relationship by hashing out the tough stuff everything else will be easier. Other than that...take long walks, develop interests together, help each other with one another’s burdens, big or small.